'siethology'

summer

2006-05-10T12:55:00.000+07:00

tis summer starting... yet it feels so rainy inside... i'm still wondering if i can ever move on at this point... it has never come to me how losing someone important can be so void... so empty inside... it's an irreplaceable hole i think... you can only have one mother right? my mind just keep turning on its own spiral twists.

evryone says it's for her best that she had done great things in her life, raising me and my brothers alone plus working and suffering but still she kept going on for my sake, for her family's sake...

how painful can this be huh? when you know that you lost the most important person in your whole life... you will know. no words can describe it, never enough tears, full of regrets and despair.

to those who loved their mums
and be loved so dearly in return
i envy you so...
yet i'm so thankful we have been given great mothers

Revival

2005-12-09T10:40:00.000+07:00

guys i'm going to revive the blog...
probably just to write sth down for crying out loud... i'm gradually being less and less expressive... i guess the nerd-pills i took just started to kick in...
i mean... i spent most of my days inside that ugly expensive too-f*kin-cold-to be-true tiny little room playing any games i had and watching any DVDs lying around...
for the worst part... I started to reject ppls who asked me to go out and find some chicks... i found girls in here are mostly spoiled brats who had too much sugar in their blood...
now this is the greatest part... I don't think it's quite convenient though... but I started to NOT smoking periodically...
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!
GOSH!!! LET ME LIVE AGAIN!!!!

Short Story... i hope writing something here should be (at least) cleaning up my infected head... so that at least i can do sth straight, think straight, and at least have a straight sense for ladies... C'MON!!!! Smoke is too good to reject!!!
why would you now not wanting to smoke...

"Something blissful is not always good for you... but for crying out loud... you still alive! so be grateful for it! cause it was blissful enough to stay alive!"
- Rendezvouz avec - Siethology Chapter One

time to move on

2005-05-04T22:28:00.000+07:00

... it was then i wanted to look for a job...
while i was looking for it around my network and my bros' networks, my friend 'cebonk' asked me if i'd like to try the enrollment test in his faculty wondering if i can still study what i really like... computers. Then he bought me the enrollment form and so my mom agreed and let me take the test first.

so the day of the test came... i hardly studied since i hardly remember anything about maths and ppkn (citizenship in indonesian curricullum) but 50% of the test was about to be on those subjects... the other 50% was english and logical questions. it was a 100-question test that i needed to do in 2 hours.

after the test, i came home and told my mom i didn't do about 20% of the test and i think it should be enough for me to be accepted. oh yeah... the test result also determined the amount of enrollment fee on the university. so then i cannot really say anything about the test to my mom... i did what i could.

two weeks after the test they published the result on the internet. it was just a normal afternoon for me... i connected to the internet and then opened the univ's website and saw that my test number was on the list. Phew... i'm glad i'm in...
but then after i read through the pages... i thought it was my imagination but... wasn't it my name written there...

.............................................................................

i stopped for a while... i re read the sentence on top of my name... then i kept thinking... it seems so vague... so bizarre... so i checked my enrollment form and... yes... it was my name...

i just jumped out of my chair, opened my door and run bustling to my mom saying "SCHOLARSHIP!" (in Indonesian of course), then i also dropped at my bro's shop and yelled the same thing... i kept running around and jumping... i rushed to my phone to tell this to my friends 'keonk' and 'cebonk' and they was as much surprised as i am...

it felt like a dream... it hit me hard in the head... i had never ever imagined that this would happened to me... me... a dork, lazy-ass, freak-bastard me... i had never ever studied for anything... it was too troublesome to do... moving pens and reading stuff...

so that brings now to me... a new spirit in life... my very first goal in my life... is to graduate with a diploma and a scholarship. it may sounds stupid like i said before... but it is the only thing i wanted to do right now before anything else... before ANYTHING else...
it's already time to move on... my age is not limitless... there are things i wanted to do after this... still a long way through... a very very long way through...

===================================================

siethology - Chapter One
"what we pursue in life, what we seek, and what we wanted the most... may not be the best for us. But who is to decide what is best for us? What we earned, even though it might not be the best, might be the greatest gift we had, or the best tribute to our life... because if you are alive till this very moment... you should be grateful" - sietho 2004 New Year's Resolution

siethology - Chapter Two
"the reason of existence... the raison d'etre is nevertheless a confusing part in our life. Whether we have to subdue life by making abundant amount of money... or by having a good wife and raising children... or even by fulfilling our very "dream" whatever it may be. As we stumbled into life, people, all things that happened in the world might just be either the slightest effect or like a meteor hit that turns our life around. To walk in the same line is utterly impossible... what I must have... what I cannot lost... is the reason to live... is to walk that very line set before us... by whosever power... so that whatever I pick along the process become my follies and trophies... including the feeling and the experience, the kiss, the hug, the madness, the troubles, the tears... and most of all... the connection" - after my newborn nephew Evarel

crack...

2005-05-04T01:09:00.000+07:00

to start with... i'd tell you guys that i am officially student of the Surabaya University on the Technical Faculty majoring at Information Technology.

for you guys who've known me in NL... i guess you guys realized that computer is what i'm handy with... and thanks God He let me fix my past mistake in choosing my previous major... you guys may think i'm the normal stud in learning communication management thingies... i did my homework, read the book, listened to the lecture and worked in the project group... but during those two years of eight practices... i lost my figures and motivation... i started to doubt my own choice... and when it came to working in the agency as intern... i simply stalled and stopped on the way... and while i'm thinking of the expenses i had to pay for the sake of studying in NL I began to count the gain and loss of this journey to NL... thus it came to my mind... the point where i think it's pointless to study something you don't like and somewhere too far away and expensive to be PLUS the crappy school i am trapped with... so i decided to call it off... at that moment i was thinking of working as a web designer with my limited knowledge... i was sure i could trap some of my friends to teach me tricks in designing website... then time flies... i quit the job, quit the school and started to look for work... in the free time i accepted a job to teach some elementary kids English. Then my mom asked me if i really want to quit studying and start to work... I said I'm sure. I then told her that I will continue study with my own cash and proves to her that I am able to gain a diploma (it may sound strange but i really want to make her proud by having a diploma... since none of my two older bros finished their studies - they got married and gave me 4 nephews already). So it was then settled... i would find a job to save money for studying...

to be continued (i wanna watch football! :p it's LVP - CHE for Champions Cup's sake!

PS: I'm gonna start the TagBoard again... so you can "again" leave me msg there...

PS: Praise the Lord for my newborn nephew.. dated 01 May 2005 10.00 PM "Evarel"

"May the utmost blessings and merciful salvation of the Lord be the guide in his life and in the mortal sins he may rise with redemption like the son of God, Jesus Christ. He shall be the light in the darkness of the world. He shall be the cure of the forsakened mind. He shall be the love for the hateful heart. He shall be loved and protected as he will protect and love those who resigned the way of evil... salvation came with our love for each other" - Sietho's Salvation of Love May 4th 2005

Temporary Disengagement

2005-04-13T23:24:00.000+07:00

2nd entry in such a long time

yo dudes! wassup... though i havnt checked in for a while... just wanna tell you guys i'm fine and sound alike in my lovely room :p here I am in my hometown buzzing off and just have enough sanity to keep myself alive... hehehe

though I did have some great news... I had a scholarship for my entry at Ubaya University in the Information Technology department... which frees me from paying the enrollment fee and the monthly fee... phew!

talking about saving some cash... to tell you the truth I don't even study for the damned test... thus made me wonder how in hell did i get the damned scholarship... well my guess is that if not the stupid generations then the university is a crappy one... but hell with it cause the Faculty is acreditted A = the highest.

phew but anyway... i'm really glad i made this choice... the choice to leave NL and start anew in here... not only the scholarship, but the curricullum is also renewed... which means i am not wasting my time for something everyone knows... i really hope that this shit i'm gonna learn is going to help me to get some cash... i'm kinda tired wasting my old butt lying around at home and doing useless craps... but oh well... life is much much more fun if you have something that made cash.

but oh well...
i'm going to catch up anytime soon about my study... i hope all but the best though...

Disconnected... and utterly erased

2005-01-30T01:34:00.000+07:00

1st Entry:

hi guys... i quitted my job on 1525 without telling anything... i was so wasted that i wanted to run away back home just to see my mom and my families... even though in the end it strikes me back cause I lost my room in my house...
(can you imagine not having a room in your own house... DAMN!!!)
but oh well... i guess i'd be mr. "go ahead and use my room" for a while... since my bro's family is using it right now...
but then it was my own mistake that i wanted to run away from this house to NED in the first place...
and after two years... i came back home and found myself in a place i can hardly call home... i still have my old stuff, and my great loving mother... with my good-gracious ignorant father... but there's just too many colors on the house... both my brothers, both my sister-in-laws and their lovely children are all scramming, scourging in the very house I was supposed to live in with my mom... and my dad... he has this "authorithy complex" that he is the LORD of the house and everyone has to BOW to him... (huh?!) but the hell with that... as long as i hold firm my beliefs, and i stood for my truth, i have no fear of what become of me... i lost faith in humanity but i believe in the power of heart.

"being responsible is not just abiding the rules and tasks given upon you nor by tributing to the authorities. with a heart being resposnsible, what at stakes is not freedom, not life, nor physical possessions... it was simply responsibility of the truth and the honesty of the world that might be the last best thing remains till the end of the world" - sietho, Jan 30 2005 (a night before the competition)

Life Update the 1st edition

2004-12-03T13:59:00.000+07:00

huehehehe here's my life update since I haven't post in a while now...

1. holiday
2. ill-week

1st Phase - Holiday
now...
my holiday was nice... I get to hang out with cebonk and keonk my ol' high-school buddies (actually cebonk is my pal since junior-high and keong since elementary) and we've been together for.. almost 7 years now... we hang around a lot... often seen together... although both of them has a basketball hobby and I have this huge hobby of playing games... but we went along quite well... never had a fight (as long as I remember) even though we often punch, kick, slam each other asses HAHAHAHAHA! but yes this is the my happy truth of friendship... they have been true to me as I to them... a lot has happened in these two years... people change... but the strange thing is... it still felt like high-school... but that was the nice part right... maybe something is best left unchanged... remain the same... cause the memories were what made me the way I am now...

the other part of my holiday was my family... which I realize we never actually get together for almost 5 years (my 1st bro is studying at different city, my 2nd bro is already married and have a son back then) yes... 5 years ago... the house would be me and my mother... we have 4 rooms and 2 people living in it... it was right when I graduate from Junior high - well.. the thing about me is I grew up being told not to be like my brothers... both of them (7 and 5 years older than me) have failed some of their study... so I had to concentrate on my study again and again... until the peak was at my junior high when I... all of a sudden feel that I need to be myself now (I guess that is the part where a boy become a pain-in-the-ass boy for his parents) then I dropped my achievement in school (it was from the 3rd of 40 students and become the 12th of 40 students) then in high school it's getting worse (I remember the worst one was the 14th of 37 students) and I barely made it to the final grade which was my Language programme of the 3rd year (79 total points from the minimum 78). then everything that I lost was coming back - my 2nd bro now moved at the backyard of my house (my house is quite big) and my 3rd bro stopped studying because he didn't feel like it anymore (WOW don't talk about this one... it hurts me) and it was then things were awfully awkward... everyone is coming back to the house... this is one of the reason that I left home... I didn't really want to come to Holland in the first place... I just want to run away for a while...and now the runaway is over... I came back home... and I suddenly felt what I have never felt before in my family life... A real Family! I just forget where did I drop this feeling... but this holiday... this 6 days... I really feel that we are a family... and it was a nice feeling I could not explain... maybe because the past two months I was living alone in Jakarta... or the past two years I never see them and I actually missed them... but I just know that there was something more... something... cherishable and so pure... even though my dad was still the same egoistic and selfish bastard (yes he's a bastard but he's my dad... can't complain) but now that I have my mom, my brothers with their wives and children... it's become a bit merrier... the house did not feel as empty as I remember... maybe that what made me feel that this is a real family... the family I had hoped for... and the family that I love the most - as referring to Nia's post :p

so the conclusion of my holiday is... the only holiday when I felt that I had a family and I love them... and I still have my two bestfriends around me whether they are different or the same... we do have each other :)

2nd Phase - Ill-week

I'd cut the story short...
since I cameback to Jakarta in friday... I had been living in desperation, still missing my family back home... and I just watched TV, play game again...
so I came to work at monday, and tuesday... but that tuesday it was raining when I came out to buy some food and the next morning I got a flu and a cough... later at noon, I feel better and thinking of coming to work... but I had a stomachache... (don't want to explain it) and at night... a strong headache at the back of my head... force me not to move for like 1 whole hour and just listening to my new Utada Hikaru's album Exodus. and so I went to sleep...
the next morning... I still had the f**kin headache (sorry) and it just pains me to sit still without doing nothing or anyone talking to me... so I force myself to get out... it failed... I cannot barely move... and my kidney feel strange... but I ignored it cause the headache was awesome (yeah AWESOME INDEED)... and the pain was going away slowly... I get to play my new MGS3: Snake Eater too... which then why I forgot to tell the office that I was sick... :p my bad habit...
and Friday... I have to go to work today! I have to! and then when I stand up... my kidney hurts... it hurts like it was about to break... and then I remember... oh I barely eat or drink anything yesterday... so I tried my best to get up and take some drinks... and then when my kidney felt better I took a bath and I went to grab something to eat... PHEW... so things were going better at least... UH OH! no way... the stomachache returns! maybe he was laughing while saying (HAHAHAHA EAT THAT SH*T! - again sorry) and my 3rd day of sickening bastard was over while I watch TV till asleep... then Saturday - a free day - things are getting better except for my kidney that hurts everytime I stood... but the day was alright... and so did Sunday and I could come to work at Monday cause I didn't feel anything in the morning... so I guessed that's it... I get to work again! and then I feel normal again... people around working while I read some papers and books... la la la la...

HUH! after I had my lunch... the kidney felt strange again... and then OUCH! it came back! OMG!!! when will this pain end!!! and I had no choice but to call my mom and asked what medicine I should take... and bla bla so after work I get to grab some medicine at the local drugstore and then I drink it with some vitamins so I can sleep better... and then I slept...

the tuesday was tough... the kidney hurts more than ever... now I cannot even stand up... so it just went with all the pain of the day and moving was hard until later at night...

and phew the next morning I feel great... and I get to work... and I did not feel any pain the whole day... phew... thanks God!

and the week was awful... the pain ... just unbearable... not as hurt as being stabbed by nazgul tho :p

and so it ends...

20 years old me...

2004-11-08T14:07:00.000+07:00

Finally!!! after 20 years of crap-shitting, money-wasting, and game n' stuff... I am officially, legally 20 years old. As seldom as I got birthday cakes, tis year anniversary is the same as the ol' days... I congratulate myself, watch TV, play GTA:SA, do some laundry, do some dishes and stuff... I'd always had this normal day as my birthday... I prefer to anyway tho... cause many people might not be so fortunate to celebrate their birthdays... I just wanted to empath with 1/3 of this world who are in disease, poverty, hunger, and other miserable condition that prevent them from having a joyful day celebrating their birthdays...

All my fams congratulate me, Bee n' Val too (they're my siblings :p) so did Alice n Peggy my buddies from High School, and Iwan my ol' Junior High pal, and Cebonk my fuckin bro for life... I was kinda glad tho... they'd still remember my b'day after 2 years prolly thanks to their birthday alarms :p but thanks guys... I appreciate it a lot...

as referring to Ri2's blog last thursday bout recognizing who packed your parachute... I'd say you guys made me the way I am now... without you guys life might be different... might be better or worse but I hold no regrets... thank you for this familihood and friendship.. nothing last forever but I sure hope this relationship do ;) to be a friend, a son, a certain person who played one role or another in your life... I am fortunate enough

With all the love I had... Thank you
and Happy Birthday the 20th for myself... and for Adjie in Holland and Anton wherever you are ;)
and...
Happy Birthday 20th for Novie - 1st Nov
Happy Birthday 21st for Alice - 2nd Nov
Happy Birthday 20th for Iwan - 3rd Nov
Happy Birthday 20th for Ius - 5th Nov
;) Let's have a merry happy birthday

I picked the chocolate one cause I love chocolate as I believe most of you guys too..

Human's Favorite

2004-11-03T13:27:00.000+07:00

hue...
today I want to discuss something that might bother some peeps I knew... smoking...
as one of the largest cause of lung cancer, heart attack, pregnancy failure and sexual impotence, smoking is an act of burning the tip of cigarette and then absorb the smoke at the other end with/without a filter. The cigarette, which are composed of tobacco and many other spices (depending on the type and the brand itself), are producing a recognizable scent of burnt tobacco. The effects along with it are nicotine and other dangerous chemical matters. Yet... it was one of the most selling products in the world.

Since I lived my childhood with my pop and my 2nd bro smoking all the day... I did not really bother people's smoking or the fact that I am passively smoking too... I mean without being a passive smoker, you are already "smoked" in this dense Carbondioxide air of large cities in Indonesia... to tell the truth I'd rather be in a room with 10 smoking people rather than being out there with 1 bus in my face blasting its exhaust smoke... if you compare those... the exhaust smoke are even more dangerous...

However, people who are against smoking are always picky about smokers such as myself... I smoke cause I wanted to... if they ask

XX: "what good comes from smoking?"
I : "I am good with smoking"
XX: "How can that be? you'd only die sooner through smoking..."
I : "That's the whole point"
XX: "?! you wanted to die sooner? But you also cause the other to die sooner... don't you respect their choices?"
I : "Now wait... I did not want to die sooner... or later! It's all in God's hand. I smoke cause I wanted to... didn't we get the freedom to choose? Is there anywhere in God's teaching against smoking? I know that the Bible said 'You must take care of your body cause it is the House of God' but I took care of my body... after I took care of the others... and about if other people die sooner, I had done my best to avoid non-smokers while smoking... if they still die sooner, then it must be fate. Face it you cannot deny a will from a human with another will... it's quite the same with blocking freedom, it's the same as aggression of right... we have the very right to give the cigars factories' labours the chance to earn his life, and the right to grant the tobacco farmer the chance to grow his children. You might think it's a lame reason... but please think about them... cigars factories are one of the most employing factories and they are only slightly affected by monetary inflation. Do think about that!"

But for Indonesians... they'd rather have a sinist look on smoking women... now for this one I understand them... Smoking women aren't so popular in this culturally-bound country... they are considered "naughty", b*tch, etc etc... cause this culture view them as being too "Westernized" or hang out in night clubs, cafes, and many other sinful yet profiting places... there's nothing we can do about it...

Now to end this... I have this one theory of why some people wanted to smoke so badly... if you think again from the chronology of humans...

Baby: Love to suck on mom's tits for milk, or dots
Child: Love to suck candy or lollipop
Teen: Love to suck drink from a straw or even worse suck from the bottle... students are found sucking their pens/pencils while thingking... some teens also started to suck p*n*s for work (susu OSIS) or suck a burning cigar to be a sooner grown up
Adult: They sucked! and they smoke... they suck almost everything... they're the worst one...
Grannies: They have this suckable thingy made of plastic... or their own fake teeth... some grannies still smoke too (which are against the theory of life-everlasting of the non-smokers)

that's my defense for you who curse smokers... we maybe wild, have the courage to choose, but we have the right for it... we have the nature to do it... it's human... it's OUR WILL!!! and it's Human's Favorite too... destroying their own lives...

Treacherous Mind

2004-10-26T14:27:00.000+07:00

Last Sunday I spent most of my days at the church where I sang in the choir since morning until midday... At first I sang for the large mass with the orchestra. And then later on I went to oen of the choir member's house to attend some sort of party... but it turns out to be another mass to celebrate his auguration at the People's Representative Body (DPR)... then at the midday I had to sing for a wedding ceremony at the church too...

At the end of the day I was at the church since 7.00 and then came home at 16.00... and my choir even asked for its help from the 17.00 mass... but I quit... It was just too much for me...

I wonder what makes me so willingly spent my time for the church... the one place I used to call a fake-community... the union of people who pray to God... and claim to be a Catholic... but afterwards turn into someone worse than evil...

Yes... I doubt the holy community of the Catholics... I doubt its purity... But I have not lost any slightest faith I have for God... I have my own belief of Him and His Work over me and the world... that's why I never asked for more... and thank Him for what I have... but lately I think I have become someone else... I started to think that I deserve more... want more... hunger for more...

but after the reverrend read the wedding homily... I was moved... He said, "Through any happiness or sadness, poor or rich, hungry or not... you will always stay together and share every burden and joy you have." Which reminded me of how I was so close to getting my parents divorced (yes I tried to)... At those times... I was so desperate... I hate my dad... he never worked, always angry at his sons and his wife... always ask for money and tell us to do things for him... he never showed love for us... nor care... but then there was one moment when God's Words tell me that I should be happy that I still have both parents amidst from how horrible the relationship might be... there are children parentless... orphan since birth...

so my Holy Dad... I am sorry for my treacherous mind... I should not doubt your people... I should be thankful to You Dad... and I should always come to your House in the earth to praise and worship You. Thank you for this Life... It's so beautiful...

Shout and Shout

2004-10-21T08:36:00.000+07:00

umm since last week I have been trying to join the church choir near my place in Jakarta. I guess it's to stay accompanied... not lonely as usual... and it turned out to be fun and pleasant experience. Two of them were having their birthdays and they treated the choir including me :p not a bad start I guess and they were hillarious too that we talked until about 11 in the night... and they were working on the next morning too...
and I ended up going to church 4 times a week and practiced my voice... :( --> NOOOO THIS IS NOT ME!!!!

anyway... I really glad I met them... some of them are cute too... although they are older than me :( and some of them speak Javanese too! so I'm saved from unknown alien jokes from the local ppl here...

bout work: yeah as always... just sitting at the table... reading newspaper n magazine... sometimes translating a few pages in a couple hours... eat... watch TV... sleep (HA! I can even sleep in my office) but lately they gave me lotsa small mindjobs like small brainstorming and opinions... well It's still better than nothing right? hehehehe

the boss in my workplace is hillarious... he's simply all the funk of older generation has... just watch him at SCTV Friday Night at 10.30 on the Kopi Manis show.. he's the large fat dude work as the co-presenter of Nico.

truthfully the most important thing about choir is you shout and shout the name of God... and praise Him... cause you'll hardly do that... when you are lonely, routined, stressed, sick, or confused... or addicted to something (like games :p)

This week is the 2nd week of fasting for Moslems... I wonder why those Iraqis still kindap ppl... are they eating them? prolly tho... humans are tasty... especially chicks :p don't kidnap body builder tho... hard meat... kidnap fat ppl like me and my boss :)

and the game of the week goes to: Gameboy Advance - Super Robot Taisen A from Banpresto and Bandai (those Jap mechas maker)

it can never get any worse than this

2004-10-15T13:57:00.000+07:00

hue kira2 dah jalan 1 bulan lebih dikit magangku di 1525:Integrated di Jakarta ini. yah walaupun mungkin aku sendiri yg lagi galau tiap hari gara2 mikirin many stupid things that happened in my life in just one month...

mamiku ga setuju hub.ku ma pcrku sekarang... emang aku ini dari keluarga yang kontroversial... mungkin aku juga harus jadi kontroversial... tp aku ngerasa semua ini ga ada artinya... some stupid thoughts that only brings hate and madness...
tp aku bisa apa... masa mau ngelawan mami yg udah abisin duitnya buat nyekolahin aku ke belanda... life is full of irony... you just can't run away from it...

blon lagi pergaulanku di jkt ini... tiap hari aku bangun pagi, mandi, ke kantor yg super suntuk n nganggur, pulang, nonton tv, tidur... ampir ga pernah ngomong... ampe ngomong sendiri di kamar... ya mungkin ini cuma efek routinity yg belon pernah aku rasain... emang I'm glad that at least here I have an endless interesting TV programmes thanks to the kabelvision and not to mention the cheap games... but I am sure that if I keep up this lifestyle... I'll just turn into the old-self carefree me... which is simply a hopeless-timewasting me...

It's hard for me to endure loneliness... especially when you are not trusted by your own family... I wonder why they trusted me when I was in Holland... maybe they are more worried about my future than myself... they don't want me to end up like my brothers... having children without a decent job... phew...

Life is complicated indeed... but I can always see something good in it... it's my talent of living... "it can never get any worse than this"

alas I'm just gonna run through everything... we live only once... let's not spend it with too much thinking and feeling... just doing something you like and doing something God like ;)

God Bless mina-san
Kami-no blestu

by the way I met this cute senior I had in high-school. I recall her nickname was "pippy" in high-school. She was the cheerleader captain. and she was also taking internship at an ad agency at the same street as mine :p It was a little relieving for me tho... for no reason I just can recall my highschool of hanging with those stupid, funk dudes that pull me into something I define as life... well as time goes by prolly I'm not lonely at all...

~-* "Life of Brian - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"

leisure, leadless, spiritless life

2004-10-13T13:38:00.000+07:00

well... I guess it's time for another blog... since everyone is away at the office...
Life's been quite a boring subject where everyone complaints about (me too)... one said that one has no life at all... simply a fake smile and desperation... one said that one want to throw one's life cause on'es been left out all the time and no one's been listening to one... and me said that me has a leisure, leadless, spiritless life where me have a by-to-by placement that does not suit me well (design department) and me have no destination in life by being always stuck in things me like best such as games, tv, movies, animes, and stuff. Although me now often come to church just to sing me voice and so me can at least give something to God's gift of this life... not that I am complaining to God... it just doesn't work quite well hasn't it...

well me thing me might be the luckiest one... me is free to think, to do, to act as me wishes... amidst from me responsibilities, me doesn't really care about others think about me... and me says to you who want to change me to F*CK OFF!!! if you know what's better for me... you better know what's better for yourself...

but then as for my experience here... I've written some copywriting, translate a newsletter and a brochure into a copy, drawn some useless print ad concepts and read some books bout advertising and copywriting. Now I am interested in copywriting in particular and hope for a future job.

brzwtghmdpn

2004-10-07T13:16:00.000+07:00

bah... aftr 2.5 mnths no blogging...
i frgt evryting used to insrt links and stuff...

jst to tell you tat I am tryng to shoot mislf but can't fnd a gun anywhre...
life's been kinda lnely ltely... I hrdly talk... Hrdly care bout wat ppl is doin.. hrdly thnk of smting usefl... can't concntrate... can't slep... eat less...

as I workd in the new plcment org 1525:Integrated I cnnot relly fnd wat it means to b mislf again... wtching movie and crtoons till 2 a.m wake up in teh mrning, bath, go to work, eat a bread, check mail, prtty boring... as you are bored reading tis... so i'll quit for now.. maybe latr wen thngs get bettr...
ciao!

Puta!!!

2004-07-27T07:20:00.000+07:00

mOndAy:
I was supposed to work today but alas... our time allowances have been cut!!! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!). Sobs... now I get to work four days only...
(Bad Boy! u're here to study!)... anyway got a severely bad news today that I did not pass VirCon Phase 2 from that horribly long project!!! wtf!!! then I hunted down my grade administrator Mrs. Delft and the coordinator for the project Mr. Pieneman! Shot them both in the head. Kinda rough eh? kiddin...

anyway... today's GunBound is kinda funny. I learned a new word: "Puta!" which in Spanish mean Biatch! or a prostitute. OMG! GunBound nowadays sucked like hell. Lotsa stupid people from Latins and Filipins or Vietnamese. DISASTER! talking of things that holy... GunBound is kinda cute esp. when you play solo and the triceratop... awww... so cute!!!!!!!!

hehehehe so today's topic is GunBound since I played it for the whole day
Nitezzz ppl!

no title

2004-07-23T04:21:00.000+07:00

midnight entry:
working has been very quite lately... either in the restaurant or in the take-away shop... which is the very reason why I hate these works again... I mean what are you gonna do when you have no clients to serve? I know they are stupid sometimes and pissing you off for some stupid idiotic reasons. but still... w/o them, your boss wouldn't need you... ->Spiderman 2. 1st Chapter (Spizzaderman) "Promise is a promise"

but then again come to think again... who cares if job sucks, the money didn't suck right? even through you normally get your money sucked for phone bills, house rents, new phones, new clothes... DAMN!!! it hurts a lot when you think of that right? exceptionally you unlucky people who are rich since birth and had to sleep to get your money!!! ARGH!! how I wish I were rich...

Somebody Shot me Please!

good night!

Elric's

2004-06-26T08:10:00.000+07:00

pagi yg super ga jelas... masa bangun2 ada valent di sebelahku :p
namanya juga suami istri ;) ups... sensor*

terus makan... abis kenyang tidur lagi (garing yah)
mana kerja lagi... fuuuh rasane dino iki muales poll arep kerjo... gak ngerti pengen turu enak nang omah wae rosone (kebo)

anyway... work's quite okay... not much of a trouble... enjoyable busy time
pick a fight with the chef and joke around :p

trus pulang kerja... jalan kaki sampe waterloo (duh malese) mana perancis kalah lagi (WTF!) EuroScore ARGH!!!

sampe rumah kepengen mandi tp takut kamar mandi ne sek bau... syukurlah valent dan bea udah mandi :p jadi saya bisa lama dikit ;)
anyway abis mandi trus ngejar2 utopia lagi soale diseneni ambe konco2 KD ra ono defense e... alhasil got few attacks on my new prov :(
things went well on Genesis server...

trus mari gitu nonton Full Metal Alchemist dari 16 - 2x (mbuh lali sesuk didelok meneh)

dan terus memutuskan untuk tidoer doeloe :p
daaag

Q1 Euro

2004-06-25T08:30:00.000+07:00

i finally woke up at 1 PM... it's like morning to me tho. I can hardly tell the difference cause of the cloudy day... but alas... the stomach need some treats.
After frying some sausage and add some tuna, eat with bread, warming up the "Bacang" i got a week ago... then i had lunch.
then again i missed my morning kiss :( she went to school already... and i'm off with my Utopia stuff where I miscounted my GC and forgot to train my army in the WoL Server(WTF!)... but then again... I'm not really pro at this kinda game... might as well give it up...

Tell you guys... this game is kinda cool and stuff... but it took your life :p (you need to check em every 12 hours and that cost you 10 minutes or more...) I have two accounts, then it takes 20 minutes of my 12 hours and that cost 40 minutes per day which means in a month I will spent 20 hours for that game...
phooey

Working is kinda fast today since I woke up late today... and i met this freaking bitch telling me that I'm crazy selling her a white rice for 1.37 euro (which I'm quite sure it was on the pricelist)

then again the European Championships 2004
Live Score on EU2004
that 1st goal was absolutely unexpected. the 3rd minute and England scored...
till the end of the half i thought English was winning it...
after I got home... 1-1
DAMN! (i believe in Portugal tho)
it's just I hate Extra Times and Penalty Deathmatch...
then the extra time...
Portugal scored on '110 through Costa's shot outside the box
My heart stopped once coz i thought it was a golden goal match...
but it's not... and the match proceed...
2-1 for Portugal and English are losing its defenses... 5 MINUTES!
GOAL!!! That Lampard matey surely got some skill! My heart stopped again... this time my face turned red and i breathe really fast and hard... Bee said she was about to cry :p
poor Bee...

hehehehe anyway the penalty shot...
English first (EF) and the number 7 shoot... WTF!! Beckham MISSED!!!
more scores... then it comes to Costa... SHOOT!! MISSED!! WTF!!!! (so unexpressional)
then the minute Vassell came... I knew he was gonna miss... He has to miss for my heart's sake...
and VOILA!

Portugal Go the SemiFinal

I was kinda glad tho... they made some heavy attacks to the English... They deserve that victory... but truely It was the EC final 2004 match... it has to be it... (cross-finger for Portugal and Cekoslovakia)

and then I went to Utopia again, do some chat, do some blogs...

memorizing HTML

2004-06-25T07:26:00.000+07:00

finally after so long I really have to remember all those stuff from period 4!!!

The holy: "wtf is HTML!"

how to put bullets

how to bold

how to italic

how to put numbers
1. how to put numbers in numbers

damn hard!

Being an everyone's sweetheart

2004-06-18T06:13:00.000+07:00

she's cute
she's smart
she's nice to everyone
she's always smiling

she got a cute pair of cheek
she got a sharp pair of eyes
she got a tender heart
that always soften the person inside...

i wanna be inside that heart
but fortunately i have been in another's
:p