Tuesday, October 26

Treacherous Mind

Last Sunday I spent most of my days at the church where I sang in the choir since morning until midday... At first I sang for the large mass with the orchestra. And then later on I went to oen of the choir member's house to attend some sort of party... but it turns out to be another mass to celebrate his auguration at the People's Representative Body (DPR)... then at the midday I had to sing for a wedding ceremony at the church too...

At the end of the day I was at the church since 7.00 and then came home at 16.00... and my choir even asked for its help from the 17.00 mass... but I quit... It was just too much for me...

I wonder what makes me so willingly spent my time for the church... the one place I used to call a fake-community... the union of people who pray to God... and claim to be a Catholic... but afterwards turn into someone worse than evil...

Yes... I doubt the holy community of the Catholics... I doubt its purity... But I have not lost any slightest faith I have for God... I have my own belief of Him and His Work over me and the world... that's why I never asked for more... and thank Him for what I have... but lately I think I have become someone else... I started to think that I deserve more... want more... hunger for more...

but after the reverrend read the wedding homily... I was moved... He said, "Through any happiness or sadness, poor or rich, hungry or not... you will always stay together and share every burden and joy you have." Which reminded me of how I was so close to getting my parents divorced (yes I tried to)... At those times... I was so desperate... I hate my dad... he never worked, always angry at his sons and his wife... always ask for money and tell us to do things for him... he never showed love for us... nor care... but then there was one moment when God's Words tell me that I should be happy that I still have both parents amidst from how horrible the relationship might be... there are children parentless... orphan since birth...

so my Holy Dad... I am sorry for my treacherous mind... I should not doubt your people... I should be thankful to You Dad... and I should always come to your House in the earth to praise and worship You. Thank you for this Life... It's so beautiful...

Thursday, October 21

Shout and Shout

umm since last week I have been trying to join the church choir near my place in Jakarta. I guess it's to stay accompanied... not lonely as usual... and it turned out to be fun and pleasant experience. Two of them were having their birthdays and they treated the choir including me :p not a bad start I guess and they were hillarious too that we talked until about 11 in the night... and they were working on the next morning too...
and I ended up going to church 4 times a week and practiced my voice... :( --> NOOOO THIS IS NOT ME!!!!

anyway... I really glad I met them... some of them are cute too... although they are older than me :( and some of them speak Javanese too! so I'm saved from unknown alien jokes from the local ppl here...

bout work: yeah as always... just sitting at the table... reading newspaper n magazine... sometimes translating a few pages in a couple hours... eat... watch TV... sleep (HA! I can even sleep in my office) but lately they gave me lotsa small mindjobs like small brainstorming and opinions... well It's still better than nothing right? hehehehe

the boss in my workplace is hillarious... he's simply all the funk of older generation has... just watch him at SCTV Friday Night at 10.30 on the Kopi Manis show.. he's the large fat dude work as the co-presenter of Nico.

truthfully the most important thing about choir is you shout and shout the name of God... and praise Him... cause you'll hardly do that... when you are lonely, routined, stressed, sick, or confused... or addicted to something (like games :p)

This week is the 2nd week of fasting for Moslems... I wonder why those Iraqis still kindap ppl... are they eating them? prolly tho... humans are tasty... especially chicks :p don't kidnap body builder tho... hard meat... kidnap fat ppl like me and my boss :)

and the game of the week goes to: Gameboy Advance - Super Robot Taisen A from Banpresto and Bandai (those Jap mechas maker)

Friday, October 15

it can never get any worse than this

hue kira2 dah jalan 1 bulan lebih dikit magangku di 1525:Integrated di Jakarta ini. yah walaupun mungkin aku sendiri yg lagi galau tiap hari gara2 mikirin many stupid things that happened in my life in just one month...

mamiku ga setuju hub.ku ma pcrku sekarang... emang aku ini dari keluarga yang kontroversial... mungkin aku juga harus jadi kontroversial... tp aku ngerasa semua ini ga ada artinya... some stupid thoughts that only brings hate and madness...
tp aku bisa apa... masa mau ngelawan mami yg udah abisin duitnya buat nyekolahin aku ke belanda... life is full of irony... you just can't run away from it...

blon lagi pergaulanku di jkt ini... tiap hari aku bangun pagi, mandi, ke kantor yg super suntuk n nganggur, pulang, nonton tv, tidur... ampir ga pernah ngomong... ampe ngomong sendiri di kamar... ya mungkin ini cuma efek routinity yg belon pernah aku rasain... emang I'm glad that at least here I have an endless interesting TV programmes thanks to the kabelvision and not to mention the cheap games... but I am sure that if I keep up this lifestyle... I'll just turn into the old-self carefree me... which is simply a hopeless-timewasting me...



It's hard for me to endure loneliness... especially when you are not trusted by your own family... I wonder why they trusted me when I was in Holland... maybe they are more worried about my future than myself... they don't want me to end up like my brothers... having children without a decent job... phew...

Life is complicated indeed... but I can always see something good in it... it's my talent of living... "it can never get any worse than this"

alas I'm just gonna run through everything... we live only once... let's not spend it with too much thinking and feeling... just doing something you like and doing something God like ;)

God Bless mina-san
Kami-no blestu

by the way I met this cute senior I had in high-school. I recall her nickname was "pippy" in high-school. She was the cheerleader captain. and she was also taking internship at an ad agency at the same street as mine :p It was a little relieving for me tho... for no reason I just can recall my highschool of hanging with those stupid, funk dudes that pull me into something I define as life... well as time goes by prolly I'm not lonely at all...

~-* "Life of Brian - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"

Wednesday, October 13

leisure, leadless, spiritless life

well... I guess it's time for another blog... since everyone is away at the office...
Life's been quite a boring subject where everyone complaints about (me too)... one said that one has no life at all... simply a fake smile and desperation... one said that one want to throw one's life cause on'es been left out all the time and no one's been listening to one... and me said that me has a leisure, leadless, spiritless life where me have a by-to-by placement that does not suit me well (design department) and me have no destination in life by being always stuck in things me like best such as games, tv, movies, animes, and stuff. Although me now often come to church just to sing me voice and so me can at least give something to God's gift of this life... not that I am complaining to God... it just doesn't work quite well hasn't it...

well me thing me might be the luckiest one... me is free to think, to do, to act as me wishes... amidst from me responsibilities, me doesn't really care about others think about me... and me says to you who want to change me to F*CK OFF!!! if you know what's better for me... you better know what's better for yourself...


but then as for my experience here... I've written some copywriting, translate a newsletter and a brochure into a copy, drawn some useless print ad concepts and read some books bout advertising and copywriting. Now I am interested in copywriting in particular and hope for a future job.

Thursday, October 7

brzwtghmdpn

bah... aftr 2.5 mnths no blogging...
i frgt evryting used to insrt links and stuff...

jst to tell you tat I am tryng to shoot mislf but can't fnd a gun anywhre...
life's been kinda lnely ltely... I hrdly talk... Hrdly care bout wat ppl is doin.. hrdly thnk of smting usefl... can't concntrate... can't slep... eat less...

as I workd in the new plcment org 1525:Integrated I cnnot relly fnd wat it means to b mislf again... wtching movie and crtoons till 2 a.m wake up in teh mrning, bath, go to work, eat a bread, check mail, prtty boring... as you are bored reading tis... so i'll quit for now.. maybe latr wen thngs get bettr...
ciao!